-Ch 1- Laments of a Mascot

    Laments of a Mascot Chapter 1: The "Best" Team Ever

    One uneventful, average day, a young boy was strolling through the park. Ahead of him was a group of girls laughing and chatting with one another. The boy noticed that one of the girls had dropped a hair bow. Trying to be a gentleman, he picked it up. 

    Suddenly, there was a flash of light. The boy saw around him a multitude of colors. Ribbons of light swirled around and around and began to twist into different shapes. Two ribbons wrapped around his arms, two more at his feet, one tied itself into his hair and a long one tied itself around his waist, spiraling out and downwards in the shape of a dress. 

    That was me a year ago. One of the worst decisions of my life. I came out from the sparkly rainbow world in a dress, shoes, gloves, and hair ribbons, ALL PINK. In addition to that, pink dog ears sprouted from the top of my head and a pink tail sprang out underneath the dress.  

    One of the girls walked out from the group and towards me. She examined, "Yay! You've joined our team! Now we finally have a mascot!" I had gone from being a normal guy to a magical girl, with an unfortunate emphasis on girl. 

    Within the past year, I'd gotten over this initial shock of having to become a girl when transforming, and being forcibly transformed whenever the rest of the team is. My continuous torture, though, is my "team". The Lucky Star Girls are the ABSOLUTE WORST team in existence. Literally, I've looked through all the magical girl teams in the galaxy, and we're the worst. 

    Amber is the leader. She gets power over fire and is a red-haired nekomimi when she transforms. She's the worst person to be leader of the team. She's clumsy, tempered, not all that bright, her cooking is horrible, and...

    Amber bursts through my door here in the present. "You're writing bad things about me in your stories, aren't you?!" Dang, how did she know? 

    "No, of course not," I stuttered. 

    Amber didn't believe me. She pulled back a fist, winding up a punch. "FIRE PUNCH!" she said, her fist lighting aflame and connecting cleanly into the side of my face. The blow sent me flying through one of my room's walls and into the hallway of our secret base. The blow did me no permanent harm though. Unfortunately, I am basically immortal as long as my team still stands, and they never age a day past 15 or get sick. I'm surprised they haven't been killed in battle yet, though. 

    I stood up and dusted myself off, with tiny flying robots already working on rebuilding the wall. Walls get broken a lot around us. Especially the fourth wall. 

    I decided it might be a good idea to go in the direction opposite Amber's room, so she can cool down for awhile. It's not like I'd be safe from the other team members, though. 

    As I walked down the checkerboard tile hall, an eerie silence hung in the air. I felt like something was lurking in the shadows. My nerves got to me and I broke into a sprint. It was too late though. The creature had pounced, an soon I was lost in a sea of ruffles and lace. 

    I fought against the cloth, but it was no use. The dress had consumed me, and by the time I was able to free my head and see the light, there was a choker at my neck and a girl with indigo eyes and a violet dress standing in front of me, holding my street clothes. She said, "These are dirty, so why don't you just wear that dress while I go wash them, OK?"

    Kurayami, our wielder of darkness who has some kind obsession with gothic lolita. Ironically, she's afraid of the dark and won't use her powers if she can't still see some sort of light. I almost feel sorry for her because Amber treats her like an in-team rival because Kurayami is a catgirl too. Then I remember she uses me as a dress-up doll and I lose my sympathy. 

    I would have chased after her for my clothes, but going towards the laundry room would lead me right past Amber's room. I cut my losses and continued down the opposite direction towards the lounge area. 

    I would have made it into the lounge, but a wild sexy-beast blocked my path. Jordan, our water-element dragon, must've been an early bloomer before becoming part of the Lucky Star Girls, because she has really big... "Hugs". She's had a crush on me since the moment she's seen me, but I am pretty sure she swings both ways, seeing as she hits on me whether I'm a boy or a girl. 

    "Hey there, Amy," she said, using the name Amber had given me. Before I could tell them my name was Al, Amber had to pipe up and make sure I had a feminine name. (And to boot, our similar names make it seem like I'm her pet.)

    Jordan slowly stepped towards me, batting her eyelashes and pouting her lips. "Hey, Jordan," I replied nervously, "I'm okay, but I really just want to chill out in the lounge and lay down..." Bad choice of words. 

     I attempted to sidestep Jordan, but she quick-stepped around me, picking me up from behind and crushing my spine against her mountainous chest. "Then why don't you lay down with me, baby? I'll keep you warm and comfy."

    Before I could answer, Grace walked up to the entryway to the lounge. "Let Al go, he's mine right now!"

    Grace is our green dragon with powers of wind. She's vain as vain can be and spends too much time focusing on her looks and not enough time on beating enemies. She acts like she likes me, but really, I'm her slave. She only uses my real name to convince me to like her better and do more for her. I'd say she's the second worst person for me to deal with. 

    "No way, he's my boo!" Said Jordan, pulling my face back towards hers and holding me tighter. 

    "Humph. You're just not fabulous enough to deserve him."

    "You mean prissy and vain? I say you're not sexy enough for her."

    "You mean slutty?" 

    The gloves were off now. Jordan dropped me and I quickly dashed out of the ensuing cat fight. Well, as quickly as you can run while trying to not trip over ruffles and lace.  

   I entered the lounge and saw the last two members of the team sitting down playing video games. On the right was Raylee and on the left was Terra, the two twin mice. Terra is orange and as dumb as the rocks she controls. She's very clumsy and is easily distracted. Don't tell her I said that, though, or I'll get another round in the ring, being her punching bag. Raylee is yellow and the hyperactive 9-year-old from the Inferno. She gets excited about everything and often drags me into dangerous situations, like trying to make friends while fighting enemy monsters. 

    I thought maybe I'd finally get a moment of peace, but one wrong stroke of the wrist in conjunction with Terra not wearing the Wiimote wrist strap head to a remote flying through the television for the third time this month. This is the kind of stuff I deal with every day. I sighed as Raylee became bored and dragged me off to an "adventure". 

Question Box: 

Have any questions, serious or humorous? I'd like to start a question box here, kind of like how ask blogs work. Designate who you're asking in a comment, then ask a question. All questions without a specific person to ask will go to Al/Amy, as this mascot is our main character. 

Example of how the QB will look after a question:

Al, just how big are Jordan's boobs?

Al/Amy: One day, Jordan went to a fair with a watermelon in her arms to submit in to the largest watermelon contest. As she got to the table, the official warned her that she could only submit one watermelon, not three.